I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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