i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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