I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
