I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
