you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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