KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
