and my herpes radar will keep us safe
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
