I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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