bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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