yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
