Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
