As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
