i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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