Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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