were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
