It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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