My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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