he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Randomize
