I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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