Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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