My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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