yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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