Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I take back everything I said about communal showers
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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