You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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