I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
