I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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