I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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