I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
