We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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