You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
