glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize