Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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