last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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