so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
