I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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