I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
