***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
