i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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