called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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