"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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