batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wear drunk well.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
