Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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