just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
