Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
