Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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