is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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