forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
