Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
