Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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