Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
