I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He did a backflip because drugs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
