who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
