I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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