Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
