that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
