Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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