hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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