You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
