Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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